Ang Tunay Na Lalaki

There's a funny and yes, interesting blog that's been getting some following lately among Filipino youth and yuppies. It's called "Hay Men! Ang Tunay Na Lalaki". What's appealing or, to be more accurate, entertaining about the blog is that, like a freedom wall, it serves like a running commentary on people, icons, places, objects, activities etc that in a way have been familiar to ordinary Filipino folks, that have been part of popular culture, classifying them as "tunay na lalaki" (real manly), "di tunay na lalaki" (not manly), or "under consideration". Is robocop "tunay na lalaki"? How about Voltron? Or UP's oblation? Or George Estregan perhaps? It keeps the audience laughing by telling the latter how it classifies these. In a way, it also guides the audience as to the criteria it used for classification with its well composed "Ang Manifesto ng Tunay Na Lalaki", posted prominently on the lower right of the page.

Indeed, this blog has become a hit that its slowly growing followers have reached even my own workplace. Some of my colleagues have in fact adapted the expression "tunay na lalaki" in their everyday joke time language.

The site has personally brought out some chuckles in me. But while it is entertaining, it also makes me question its measure of true masculinity. The site explicitly tells audiences whether someone or something is of manly character or not. And with this, I couldn't help but think whether real manhood should be dictated by society, by outside pressure, or whether it should be "decided" from within. I say "decided" because I believe one's gender is a matter of decision. Is it not? Even if you were born a male or a female, isn't it that how you live your being a male or a female spells the difference? You have control as to how to live out your sexuality.

Furthermore, "Ang Tunay Na Lalaki" has time and again reminded me of how difficult it is to be a man. Society has expectations of you. You gotta be this, you gotta be that. And if you don't have a solid foundation of yourself, of who you really are or at least the person you want to be, you will be drowned by the waves of a gamut of pressures that dicate what is a man and how to be a man. Sadly, these pressures eventually find their way to become "norms". And norms are not necessarily moral, legal or ethical. For example, why is it alright for a man to be "not virgin" before marriage? Why is it "ok" for a man to entertain and welcome a woman's amorous advances? When the blog "Ang Tunay Na Lalaki" says real men smoke and drink and don't go to church, why do many seem to give it a nod?

My head and heart ache meditating mulling about these thoughts.

It is hard to be a man nowadays, I know. But to be a REAL man is harder because it is not defined by public opinion. It is not based on public norms. It lives within you and only TIME and TOUGH times can make it come out.

Fortunately, there is real man-ness in everyone.